Snooki vs. Sheen vs. Lohan vs. Bonds; Jesus vs. Muhammed, Feminists vs Middle East, And Liberal War Mongers--Who Knew?

President Obama's poll numbers are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.{Leno}

• There's some controversy at Rutgers in NJ about the university spending $32 grand to have Snooki appear. Apparently, Rutgers only paid Toni Morrison, a Nobel Prize winner, $30,000. I really don't understand the argument. How many students even know who Toni Morrison is? But they certainly know who this a pint-sized, guidette is who appears on screen regularly falling down drunk, vomiting and getting into fights.


• Since ticket scalpers have had a hard time selling their tickets for Charlie Sheen's lunatic appearances, it's being reported in the Hollywood rags that he's bringing Snoop Dog along. Sheen said, "This is very true. It's radical. "We're all just lucky to have him." No Charlie, you're the lucky one.


• And speaking of Charlie, why is Lindsay Lohan facing jail time (okay, okay she allegedly swiped an expensive necklace. Hey, who has not done that a few times in their lives anyway? Yet, Charlie shoots his wife, allegedly put a knife to another woman's throat, destroyed hotel rooms and abused illegal drugs. What's wrong with that picture?)


• If anyone wants to learn what steroid use can do to the human body, all you have to do is read what some of the witnesses are saying about the physical changes to Barry Bonds in the last 10 years. Here's a tease: humongous head but really, really small balls.


• Hey, in case anyone forgot, Japan is still a mess. At least 20,000 people died. A half million or more are homeless. Entire towns have been wiped off the map. And, just one minor other problem: their friggin nuclear facilities might have melted down.


• Do you know if Pres. Obama announces that he's a candidate for president in 2012 very soon, he might be running unopposed for several months?


• As you probably heard by now, the knucklehead pastor in Florida did burn the Koran a few weeks ago. So what do the followers of the Religion of Peace decide to do upon hearing that news? Yesterday, they attacked a UN compound in Kabul and murdered about 7 people. But that's not the most outrageous part of this story. Many in the media are actually blaming the pastor that did this. Now consider how ludicrous that is. These are the same people who violently attacked some cartoonists who made fun of Muhammed. They also threatened to kill other cartoonists for the same reason. I'm trying to think. How many Christians in modern history killed anyone for making fun of Jesus? {And, yes, I know all about the Knights Templar. I've seen the movies. That was over 700 years ago}.


• Bob Gates, Defense Secretary, just can't seem to make up his mind regarding any intervention into the Middle East. Last February, he said in a speech at West Point, "Any future defense secretary who advises the president to again send a big American land army into Asia or into the Middle East or Africa should have his head examined." All due respect Mr. Gates, have you seen your psychiatrist yet?


• And there certainly appears to be some disagreement between the State Department and The White House. Hillary Clinton reiterated this week that Gadhafi had to go, but just a few hours after she made that statement, the President said, "broadening our military mission to include regime change would be a mistake." Say what?


• Hey, since when have liberals become war mongers? As one commentator said recently, "Liberals are now chest-thumpting about military progress in Libya." Funny, I never heard that coming from them regarding Iraq or Afghanistan when George W. Bush was president. In fact, I clearly recall that little twirp, Sen. Reid, announce the war was lost--before the surge even started.


• With all of the horror that takes place against women in Muslim countries, where the heck are the feminists?


• Speaking of the abuse against women in the Middle East, did you know that Iran was admitted to the UN Commission on the Status of Women? Do you also know that Iranian prison guards regularly rape female dissidents before they kill them? {NY Post}


• Speaking of twirps, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) --with the most appropriate name in politics-- might run for mayor of NY City. Have you ever watched this obnoxious, arrogant punk on TV? If you're a student of behavioral psychology, you should watch someone like Weiner who has serious anger control issues.


• The good news is that we captured the Egyptian Cobra (who, by the way, had over 200,000 people following him on Twitter). The bad news is that Bin Laden is still out there somewhere {paraprhasing Letterman}.